Guilty
Why do you always make me feel guilty? Or in a better way, why do I always feel guilty with you? Is it because I always try to see what I have done wrong? Or how I should have acted better? Is it because that I believe that in two sided relations, both are responsible for any conflict or misunderstanding? No one is perfectly right and no one is completely wrong? Is it because I feel I’m not clear with you, not clear with myself? Is it because I need to take a decision about everything in my life, and until then I can never be clear? Or is it because I prejudice and when I hear you, I know was blind on so many facts?
Is it because that you somehow tough with my vulnerable deep inside? Or I’m just a bit more sensitive? Is it because that somewhere deep inside me you can never accept or can never understand? Or it is just I can’t express myself clearly? Or is it that you cannot hear the deepest sound inside me, the unspoken words inside me? Is it because a kind of rejection I suffered long time ago? Or is it because I’m compassionate in front of you, and away from you my mind is always trying to judge? Or is it because I wait for you to hear me without talking?
I don’t know why, but I know that I will not choose to judge you to get rid of this feeling. I know that I’ll keep on getting deeper in myself, and getting more and more free everyday. I know that choosing love will always make us more vulnerable. I know it takes effort to build real relations. I know it painful to go through our limitations. I know it is difficult to choose to be more human.
Is it because that you somehow tough with my vulnerable deep inside? Or I’m just a bit more sensitive? Is it because that somewhere deep inside me you can never accept or can never understand? Or it is just I can’t express myself clearly? Or is it that you cannot hear the deepest sound inside me, the unspoken words inside me? Is it because a kind of rejection I suffered long time ago? Or is it because I’m compassionate in front of you, and away from you my mind is always trying to judge? Or is it because I wait for you to hear me without talking?
I don’t know why, but I know that I will not choose to judge you to get rid of this feeling. I know that I’ll keep on getting deeper in myself, and getting more and more free everyday. I know that choosing love will always make us more vulnerable. I know it takes effort to build real relations. I know it painful to go through our limitations. I know it is difficult to choose to be more human.
On the Heart of a Lover




